1. grinderman2:

    frozenfoxtails:

    grinderman2:

    *gets on tiptoes to whisper into dairy cow’s ear* why ya titty out

    How short are you that you need to stand on your toes to talk to a cow?

    Looks like we got ourselves a city slicker

    (via marina-and-the-hymens)

  2. winkydean:

    shout out to seventeen for writing this

    (via britney-fears)

  3. harrysthefather:

    bootybite:

    "I MUST BECOME NASH GRIER’S DREAM GIRL."

    image

    IVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFE THE POTATO LOOKS SO DETERMIND I NCATSFASDFASDFA

    (Source: joshing, via adultnapped)

    fuckyeah-nerdery:

    thiswitchsblog:

    I’m from Middle Earth. Apparently.

    "WHY IS EVERYTHING A RECTANGLE"

    (Source: zeekayart, via alilshifty)

  4. godmuva:

    acidwrapper:

    godmuva:

    You ever ate something so good that like hours after you finish it you lowkey start to miss it

    :/

    is that why i miss her so much?

    Im talking about a good ass sandwich and yall over here taking about pussy. I’ll see yall in church.

    (via thetowndrugdealer)

  5. caiju:

    elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

    tffnyblws:

    theyoungveinsvevo:

    *does laundry but like in a punk way*

    image

    *does laundry but in a musical theatre way*

    image

    *does musical theatre but in a punk way*

    image

    (Source: ryanxross, via britishgovt)

  6. durbikins:

    For the past two days, this little dinosaur has been hitchhiking on my side mirror.image

    And every time I go back to my car, he’s just chilling on top of the mirror, ready to go.

    image

    The dude’s hella confused though. He sees himself in the mirror and tries to attract himself to himself

    image

    And sometimes it looks like he fell off …

    image

    nope!

    image

    (via orgasm)

  7. rabioheab:

    want to get out of having to do your homework? try chopping both your arms off. in class the next day when the teacher asks you why you didn’t do your homework simply say “i don’t have any fucking arms”

    (via jerkidiot)

  8. brngrmln:

    bolto:

    straight ppl are wild why you needa make out in the line for juice

    straight ppl like to make out in stupid spots and then get all weird abt it like “i kissed you in the frozen food section at super walmart i am the reason storms are named after people”

    (via lindsaylohangmyself)